"Self Vs. Self" and "The Wretched" Parallels

So lately I have been listening to more and more heavy music just to clear my mind and feel the complexity of the words. One of those particular bands of interest is In Flames. They have several songs I like but one in particular stands out and it's part title of this post. That song would be "Self Vs. Self".

Featured on the most recent Pendulum album "Immersion", the song combines the elements of well known metal with Pendulum's drum & bass style to create a very unique song in its composition. But besides the obvious brilliance in music talent, the writing for the song is incredible and relates to a deeper side of me which I consistently tend to struggle with. The song essentially talks of the struggles of the positive and negative struggles of human reality and the overcoming from a positive standpoint of the misery and pain that may have befallen.

Putting that song into perspective for my life, as I mentioned in the last post, I am slowly rebuilding my life. And I have my up days and down and down seems to try to rule things. Lately, with all the stress from school and my own mind playing its crafty tricks of deception, I have seemingly fallen into what seems like a chasm of self deprecation and haven't ever managed to find my way out.

This is where the second song comes into play and enhances my expression of how I feel I am fighting myself. The second song is the new single off of Attack Attack!'s new record. The talented vocalist Johnny left, leaving the equally talented Caleb to try to lead the band into a new direction. In the new direction, he leads with screams and the singing to go with it, and it's not the best but this particular song has been looming in my brain since I listened to it.

The poignant line within the song is "There's something wrong with me, I can't seem to agree..." also like "Self Vs. Self", hinting at an internal struggle. I know for one I am having that struggle and relate to both of those. Attack Attack! has helped me through trying times and I know of no better answer than to play through their CD and cope.

Combining all this together, I feel a war beginning which I have no way of knowing the outcome. I am at war with myself, and as such, I will have my moments of glory, overcoming the misery, and my moments of darkness, close to death in my spiral for purpose. Only one can win, and no matter which, I won't be making it out alive of this life.

In a parallel to Attack Attack!'s "The Wretched", The Word Alive's song of the same name says "We won't fool the deceiver...". I can call it as it is right now: I am the deceiver, and both sides can't fool themselves for too long.